Wednesday, 7 January 2015

One muslimah's thoughts on surviving college

College. It's new. Its far. Its terrifying. Its an upheaval of everything you've ever known.  Its independence when you're still a little dependent.I've seen many friends have lows in college . And when I experienced it for myself and realised what saved me, I decided to write it down so perhaps I could reach out to someone else who was struggling.  And perhaps reread it during one of my lows .

The place was too damn far from family  and the people were different and the fitnahs were so wide and so varied and the attacks on my iman were plenty and with little gaps in between. It was initially very easy but funnily got harder as time passed , instead of the other way around.

I found solace four months later in "
None has the right to be worshiped but Allah alone, Who has no partner. His is the dominion and His is the praise and He is Able to do all things."

His is the dominion , and therefore no matter what far flung distant nowhere I live in, it's still under His dominion. It's still under His Control and I'm still watched over by Him , like the creatures in the deepest crevices of the seabed, that have never even set eyes on sunlight , but are provided for by Ar Razzaq.  Like the microorganisms that are looked after by Him , the billions of universes whose existence we aren't capable of so much as imagining , but that He looks after, like every leaf that has its due sunlight , water and air , and every seed that is ripened till it is a fruit that was written for me , I am being watched over by Someone whose love for me began before I was born and who will remember me after I die long after my blood has forgotten about me. I am being watched by Someone with whom resides All Might and All Power , Al Wahhab,   and yes I slip up and fail and fall to my knees but He is and always was Ar Rahman, Ar Raheem. And when I had to ask Him for the impossible He was Al Mujeeb,  the Responder, and yes I was 198 kilometres from home and my family and a six hour flight from the country I was born and raised in , but I was never ever alone or lost.  I was never abandoned when I felt alone and I was never forgotten when I felt depressed and I was never ever truly forsaken.

I was never worried except when I failed to put my trust in Him and I was never sad except when I forgot that He was with me.
"There is no creature on Earth except that its sustenance is upon Allah. He knows its habitation and its repository. All is in a clear Record." [Sûrah Hûd: 6]

"Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record." (6:9)

"Call upon Me; I will respond to you." (40:60)